Breakdown

You guys don't know how I've been feeling lately.

It's been a whirlwind of emotions... with some apathy mixed in. Throw in some homework and friendship problems and you have my life from the past two months.

Sure, it's gotten better lately- but mainly because I could almost say that I've stopped feeling anything except for anger. Even though this also means I haven't been depressed, I don't think this is very healthy. Take Chemistry for instance. I got a 7. A freaking 7. Which is what I've wanted for ages.

And... I wasn't even happy.

This scares me- well not really, because I don't get scared anymore, remember? So it's as scary as it an get without chilling me in reality.

Let's put it this way: when I got a (relatively) bad grade on an essay, I didn't feel upset. I felt... angry?

Anger seems to have replaced everything in my circle of emotions. Sure, there are moments of fleeting glee (that aren't really happiness, it's a different thing altogether) but they go away as soon as I stop talking or laughing.

I can't seem to be anything except neutral/gleeful/pissed off at the world.

What happened to Little Miss Emotional? What happened to me? Not me as a person, but me as a soul?

If this is growing up, I'd rather remain a kid forever.

I can't say life sucks, but it sure is getting strange. I want to be me again.

Or is this emotionlessness just for... today? It feels like it's been like this for weeks...